Chapter 38

Frustrations with being an unemployed writer; Working out to
help with stress; Fabulous writer Barry McCann; Reading
from my short story collection "Extremities: A collection of
subtractions; Love to all.

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The dragon.

  I seal myself inside.  Inside the blankets.  Inside the sheets.  Soft pillows act as my fortress.  I barricade myself from the world.  Tucked away.  In the dark.  There is nothing that I cannot do when I am in here.  No limitations or prying questions.  I lay in the dark, and dream with the imagination of a child.  I crush my feet down onto the pavement with large footsteps and no one says a word.  These are all stories I tell myself.  Nestled far away.  Lonely and quiet.  I listen to the music as it sooths me to sleep.  I close my eyes, and rest in the knowledge that I will be left silent.  I slip off into sleep.  In the morning, I wake cold and restless.  My nightmares giving me cause to fear what hovers around me in the unknown wilderness.  I keep to myself, and never storm the castle or fight with the dragons.  But, next to me I carry an invisible sword. 

Chapter 37

Long couple of days... guest on "Bank on Action," New novel, "Like the universe gasping for air" being published by "Spectacular Productions" mid-June; New poetry book "Searching for Solace" coming out at the middle/end of May; Focus on Etsy shop "Turning the Page; " Working on graphic novel "We, James;" Shout out to "Drawn to Comics" for treating us like Rock Gods; Applying for jobs and my desperate effort to get to Chicago Comi-con; 2.5 hour chanting and mentioning other SGI Buddhist activities; Busy week ahead; Reading from my short story collection "Extremities: A collection of subtractions."

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Chapter 36

Busy days; Waiting on responses; Reading back relayed messages; On Facebook: “We Walk Invisible” Short story submissions needed for ChupaCabraHouse.com (good guy Timm Tayshun and others); Tales of working out; Trying not to graze: Taylor Made and Blogster MaskedBlogster from “Abnormal Entertainment” messaging me on Facebook while I was doing my podcast-laughed too much-thanks guys :) ; Going to be recording live with “Bank on Action” on Saturday 04/20/13 at “Drawn to Comics” in Glendale: My interview with wonderful writer David Ward and finally readings from my short story collection “Extremities: A collection of subtractions.”

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Chapter 35

Writing is like playing the waiting game; Learning how to write better; My first (and only) time in a Writer’s Group; My interview with independent horror filmmaker: extraordinary Kevin Forte; Reading from my short story collection “Extremities: A collection of subtractions; Laughing at myself; Thinking of turning “We, James” into a graphic novel; Starting on a wonderful and glorious (sarcasm prevails) eating regime and working out more; Swearing quite a bit in this podcast... so check it out!!!!!  Thank you so much everyone for listening... now, let’s keep it up and get even more listeners!!!!!!

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Fight.

  There is no comfort in misery.  No one to guide away the strangeness of being empty and alone.  Curled up in the darkness, hoping for sleep in a restless night.  The stars seem distant, as if they have traveled far away from sight and deserted the sky.  Music floats into my window.  It perches high above and then soars straight down into the blessed seams.  Holding close to my heart, I watch as the air from my lungs perches and then drifts into small abyss like caverns.  I am alone.  I have cried for the last time and pushed my heart out towards you in hopes that you would return, but it is all in vain.  There is nothing to do now, but pick up the pieces and smile against the sun tomorrow.  Nothing to do, but wish for peace and happiness for those around me and in an instant brave the world again tomorrow with fresh eyes.  I close my mouth and hum the words coming in through my headphones.  This is an experience.  These are what we crave.  Pulling up the sheets and blankets, I pass out in an effort to remember that even though this is over I am not finished in this world.  I have only begun. 

Chapter 34

Longest day ever; updates and information on continuing and new projects; how my interview went; Why inconsistent rambling isn’t good for writers to do; Interview with awesome horror writer Jay Wilburn; Shout out to Brooke and her staff at Central Avenue Grooming; Beginning readings of my short story collection “Extremities: A collection of subtractions.”

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Chapter 33

Interview with my good friend, writer Jimmy Reed - Thank you, Jimmy, for sharing with us!!!!; doctor visit; new interviews with writers and visual artists (even if they are slight mentions) are on the way; the continuation of my editing routine with “Like the universe gasping for air;” Getting ready for Comicon; Much Thanks to Ian for sending me some of his poetry and for his lovely letter to me; Hoping for the best with my job interview on Thursday and the possibility of a writing job at “Purgatory Magazine,” so wish me luck on both endeavors; Lots of new things on the horizon; The end of “The Ever”.

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True love

  I knew it was you.  I held my breath and took a step forward.  I opened my eyes and it was still you.  The smell of your sweet cologne rang through my senses.  That voice no one else can share.  I wrapped my arms around you and all the thoughts of my day that had been holding me back disappeared in a mire second.  And, I was alive again.  Alive, beyond the most elemental of thoughts and feelings in my own universe.  Now, in your universe.  I stayed inside of your warm arms for as long as I could.  Holding onto your arms as you grasped me with all the comforts of home.  I could have stayed with you forever.  I could have kissed those lips over and over until my skin grew raw and parched, but it was time to go and to leave you behind.  No!  I couldn't. I grabbed your hand and took you with me.  I could not let you go.  I could not give up what might be and what was in you.  I held you close and nestled in the corner of your arm, as I slept and my wings were allowed to expand and I flew. 

Chapter 32

New exciting things happening: new horror novel finished, contract for new poetry book signed and sent, received call about a job interview-all very cool; Talking about how we end a book and what happens after the ending; Epilepsy; Mentioning how I was able to come up with idea of the new horror novel that I just completed, “Like the universe gasping for air"; Cauterization scheduled by my OBGYN for Monday afternoon; Hoping that I am not grossing people out with my medical descriptions and explaining that I have a very small gag reflex for horror or gore; Why everything “Twilight” sucks; My love of “Buffy” and we are into the final stretch of “The Ever".

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