Chapter 73

An action packed show: Much love to give out: "The Duct Tape Appreciation Society"; Love to my good friend Patrick; "Moon Valley District"; Much love also to my friends, family, audience and to everyone out there in "TV land" :); Vignettes of my life; My mother; Skin cancer and my grandmother; The word of the day "dichotomy"; Talented artist Kate Kehoe at http://www.etsy.com/shop/chicalookate# and you can also find her on etsy, facebook, flickr, tumblr and twitter under chicalookate; Awesome artist Sam at http://www.etsy.com/shop/SamuelYoungDesigns; Also "Will's T-Shirt's & Designs" has a terrific coupon code for me to share with you (use BUFFY1) and you can find him at http://www.etsy.com/shop/WillsTshirts; My good friend writer Jimmy Reed and his segment "Notions of the Damned"; Reading from "Asylum"; Requests for my 100th show/chapter.

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Brand new poems....:)

Stairs

How often 

do I have to say

r

o

l

l

i

n

g 

d

o

w

n

the perilous journey

my heels

digging in

quick

the sun

rising 

against the clouds

I look back 

and pour myself

into the darkness

Crawl

Why haven't

I heard 

from you

you

in your tight

streaming world

I sit 

in the universe 

of my room

stars tilt 

and twirl

in my own personal 

galaxy

with wheels

the wood

creaks

and I move 

towards the green

of your eyes

Seen

Begging 

against 

the cold moon

pressing the pillow

against my face

the sweet smell

of lavender

how do 

I walk 

towards 

the rushing waves

Blood

Red tulips

wrapped 

in white paper

I sleep 

in shifts now

waiting for them

to come by my window

at night

drowning 

in their calls

trying to leave

but I am afraid

Click

Tip it over

pour it out

sift it around

drop it down

collect it back up

hold it close

throw it away

cook it up

morning 

noon

night

repeat

Ticket

When is the train coming?

Landing on the steam

holding her 

small hand

her fingers 

digging into mine

please take me away

excited heart beats

gun metal in the frame

she smiles 

and I turn away

Cut

A blue light outside

plastic wrapped psychology

How do you forget?

Poems written out by hand.....:)

Evil
Baby,
you're on high ground
zombies can't get
you now
Baby
you're a cold fish
lost in a warm tub
kept prisoner
by that wicked
King
high atop
that tower
made
colder
every hour
blue
sweet and silly
lights
can't hurt you.

Devil's dance
Red covered ones
three albums away
dance Jack
go outside
the fear
pauses
between my
shoulder blades
I cannot be
at fault
greasy eye lids
losing their color
I press together
white blankets of snow
and all I see
are the plastic lids
beneath
holding him inside
tied tight
with
an iron fist

The stage
Tabs of gold
slipping through
fingers of passing
fancy
rich in resolve
there is an
unhappy medium
handed to
those who wait
stirring the soul
with a needle
in my arm
there isn't
anything funny
about this
conversation
nothing to make
you laugh
only snickers
from the peanut
gallery
turning me off

Party
The beat
rich walls
against the
swinging doors
clamoring for
the air
in a single box
emptying my holster
drawing away
the gun
to her ribs
pounding precisely
in the generous
streams of central
avenue
hot water
rising over the
chocolate covered
cake forks
baby baked
in the oven
lost

Soft
Clean
raised sweet
the cotton
light
and
warm
when it
needs
to be
I buckle
underneath
hold my breath
at the world
and sleep
like sour eggs
nested in a
coffin
black
as a
tomb
buried alive

Bleak
vampires pulling
the day did not go as planned
rosary beads high

Pressed
Just tell me
and all of this
can end
stone garden
caught in
the bright
lights
of Hollywood
and its
silver screen
how often
do you see her
on television
anymore?
wrestle with
her agent
call her
and get
the silent treatment
as long as
she shows up
the money comes

Chapter 72

Busy days and sleepless nights; Stephen King's book "The Shining" and Stanley Kubrick's film "The Shining"; The film "Room 237"; Headhunters and writing; Having a pow-wow with my OBGYN; Taking some time for inspiration; The fourth chapter/book of "We, James"; Amazingly wickedly talented artist and jewelry maker Jordan Stultz - You can find her work mainly on Etsy at: http://www.etsy.com/shop/ohjoranne, contact her at: ohjoranne@gmail.com and find more of her at:
ohjoranne.tumblr.com... "some of this may be NSFW, just a warning - like I ever edit myself either... :); My good writer Jimmy Reed and his segment "Notions of the Damned"; Reading from "Asylum"; Contact me through http://myriadspodcast.blogspot.com/p/contact-hollis.html; 100th Chapter; Much sincere and humble thanks and love to all of my listeners - YOU ROCK!!!!

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Chapter 71

Changing as we grow; Finding support in wonderful places; Almost stopping everything; Writer's block; The last of my kind; "Notions of the Damned" with my good friend writer Jimmy Reed; Beautiful and haunting work at "Shayne of the Dead" on Etsy.com (www.shayneofthedead.net, www.etsy.com/shop/shayneofthedead and www.facebook.com/ShayneOtheDead) - Check out his gorgeous creations; Reading from "Asylum"; Providing for myself and my loved ones; Never giving up on your dreams.

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More poems....:)

Missed

Empty pictures

on a flooded porch

I hold the key

up

to the sun

bright and collected

there is 

no more rain

only the remembrance

of something painful

collapsing 

at my feet

and running towards

the dead woods

Song

How often

does the snow 

fall

pure

from the center

of the sky

I can see 

the stars

in her hair

clusters of infinity

pushing their 

way out

how can they breathe

murky 

in the pitch

Baker

Bright yellow wire

steam rises up from the bread

Hold tight to my hand

Late

Broken heel

under the damp

light

the rain collects

in the fibers 

of the glue

resume dripping 

from cardboard

cotton seams 

breaking 

under the stress

is there enough money

going around?

Please pour 

the scotch 

down the sink

put out your 

cigarette

listen

to the beat

around the corner.  

Guide

Tuck

the tail

blind

in the corner

panting deep

heavy ears

I call you

from the porch

but you 

never answer

the moon sags down

into the Earth

only silence

Tease

I only 

pass you by

in the hopes

of leading 

you on

Fix

Can't form 

the letters

mouth dry

from shock

the needle

pushes in deep 

now and all I see

is your eyes

Poems.....:)

Gentleman

Click

the smile 

comes back

into play

and all

the world

drops down 

to their knees

high expectations

for a man

so low

Hold me

Run

stand

in a room

so cold

that nothing moves

accept the jagged piece

of glass 

on the corner 

of the stool

your fingers 

tasting it

little by little

until ice collects

soaking through

your skin

I traveled there once

when I was young 

and full of hope

I pressed my face

against the fire

and held tight

towards his burn

Skull

Kitchen

kettle

whistle

pot

water

hot

drizzle them 

with olive oil

and prick their skin

let another one in

Escape

No matter what

leave without me

crawl 

if you have to

remembering 

only what you need

The school dance

Sweet kisses rise down

I lean back into his arms

blessing made formal

Quiet

When I love you

it is out of hope

remembering the quiet calm

before the storm

the laughter

before the waves 

of anger

and all 

that is good

collects into a small short ball

and goes to sleep 

Answer

Would you ever

have a hard time

telling me

that you loved me?

whispering

the words 

in your ear

I hold your hand

tenderly

and pause

New poems....yes, it has been a while....free verse....

Keep
Am I confronting you?
Over reacting
in one unconscious line
pulling the spoke from the wheel
not paying attention to
the black clouds looming
ahead
and
all around
It is you that I despise
you creature of comfort
swiveling in your seat
puckers of leather
under the sweat
while I endure
the curse of the gods
swallowing my spit
and watching as
the music fades
into the background

Love
How long have I been in your heart?
You the seeker of men
pale skin
plucked from my brow
it is cold here
winter running
sliding
skating
over summer and spring
to get to first place
a metal dangling
in the air
and all the colors
of the warm ocean
wave after wave
pouring down
on the sightless eyes
settling into the salt
while we are measured

Wedding
Sizzling into the sand
stretching what was
my long finger
deep into the Earth
I lost my ring
down there
in this culmination
of glass and dust
I climb onto the ground
not being vain
my humble ear
taking in
a pound
of raw meat
tender to the touch
I hear you whisper
down here
the frustration
of your cries
as I hold my tongue
and slip on silver

Pitchfork
Skeletal framework
collected crosses on twine
red lights shine down hard

Patience
I touch the burn on your thumb
the redness has gone away now
and there is a scar beginning to form
from the time you made
me dinner
and pulled
that large
metal
pan
out of the oven
forgetting the small space
where the mitt
didn't cover
all for me
for me to be happy
and fed
I smile up into your face
and kiss your cheek
hungry

Death
Rolling
the dreadful notion
of falling
down
and
up
unsatiated
licking the juice
from the pan
until my fingers
bleed
and I am
no less than you
mortal
left to ponder
the possibilities

Chanting
There
in the corner
white nightgown
blue toes
hovering over
a solid floor
not looking up
towards what might be
pressure
like pins
and the sun
collapses
under its weight

Chapter 70

Ten hour tozo (chanting session); Giving artists an outlet and sometimes hearing angry things; Not talking for a year; The loss of 16 pounds; Realizing my pursuit of fame and fortune; My voice cracking under the pressure; Writer Jimmy Reed and his segment "Notions of the Damned"; My interview with awesome creator Sara Quintana from "ValkinThreads" (http://www.etsy.com/shop/ValkinThreads and Valkinthreads2.etsy.com) for everything from "clothing & accessories" to "blankets and home decor"; I have a pair of her arm warmers and I LOVE them; Reading from "Asylum": The need for cold winter days; Household chores and the mindless ramblings of an incoherent writer.

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Chapter 69

Feeling better and almost without any pain; Lots of projects on the burner; Going to a 10 hour tozo (chanting session) and partially leading chanting-been an SGI Buddhist for almost nine years; Sending out love to my "Abnormal" family at Chicago Comi-con and to my dear friend Erin from "Carou's Curiosities"; Getting back into the swing of reading and writing again-now that the pain is almost gone (I usually read 5-6 books at once); Primarily reading "Unlocking the Mysteries of Birth and Death" by President Daisaku Ikeda; Writer Jimmy Reed's segment "Notions of the Damned"; My interview with the awesome Bill Kingston of "CrazyDogTshirts" at http://www.etsy.com/shop/CrazyDogTshirts; Asking for a job; Reading from "Asylum".

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Chapter 68

The worry and frustration of being in pain and requesting pain killers; "The Golden Girls"; Not being able to write due to the pain in my right arm; Good doctors and bad practices; Continuing work on "We, James"; Handling multiple projects within the chaos; Focusing and going slow; Having to re-re-re do (Did you catch the "Bob's Burgers" theme on that one?) Chapter 67 and estimate what I said and what I read because my show is LIVE people...; New segment to the show: "Notions of the Damned" by my good friend writer Jimmy Reed; Interview with artist Vicki Meece and her shop "ImpressionsByVicki" (http://www.etsy.com/shop/ImpressionsByVicki); Reading from "Asylum."

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Chapter 67

Pain med city: Dealing with the lasting pain from surgery and the pinched nerve in my arm (from "them" lifting me up after surgery); The fear of losing out on my writing and my podcast/blog; The dangers of having a "real" job; When does success come and what defines it?; Working on "We, James" with a passionate inspiration; 4 pounds lost; My AWESOME Friends "Jennifer and jeN" from "BRANDED" - You can find their super cool shop on Etsy at: http://www.etsy.com/shop/BRANDED and on Facebook at: www.facebook.com/branded.etsy; My interview with them was a TON of FUN!!!!; Reading from "Asylum"; being a storyteller (not an artist) and questioning the fame bandwagon.

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Chapter 66 - I'm alive!

I'm alive: Trials and tribulations after surgery; Working on "We, James" and trying to produce an ideal synopsis; My funny anesthesiologist and obstetrician-gynecologist making jokes before I went under: The fear of repetition and sequels; The wonders of waking up from surgery; Artist and designer Kristin from "Design By Any Other Name" at: http://www.etsy.com/shop/DesignByAnyOtherName, designbyanyothername.com, facebook.com/designbyanyohtername and coupon code MOTCODE for 15% off all orders starting now... Reading from "Asylum".

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Chapter 65: The night before surgery

Explaining my surgery and how I'll be lucky to get out alive (just kidding); Bad karmic choices, especially before a surgery (and the possibility of karmic retribution); Having that one second of fear; Being a horror skeptic; The continual development of our graphic novel "We, James" and how this story could go on forever; "ArkhamsChilde" ("Maddington Alchemy") and their cool and unusual Etsy shop: http://www.etsy.com/shop/ArkhamsChilde; My proposition for Angi and Spooky; Being fat; Working hard to be healthy; Nightmares of my grandmother; The continual process of learning as a writer-passion and all; Reading from "Asylum" and "The Smiths."

You can also find Maddington Academy at www.facebook.com/MaddingtonHouse and maddingtonalchemy.tumblr.com.

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