Some short poems.

heavy

to words

i'd never

thought i'd hear

the closing piano music

at a great hall

before the lights

come back up

and try to be

normal

But, it can't be normal

ever again.

New

Ritual

wrap

tape

pack

slay

make it

across the world

empowered 

by the

raven

and its twist 

of thorns.

speak

I

Make These Words

INTO MINE

create 

life

Quick

How cruel

yet the dead can speak.

Disease

wrapping

silent

and 

slow

the pity

of mourners

remembering

why

crush

all clouds hover red

invisible waves rain down

blocked beating the sun

sleep

eager to lay

head heavy to pillow

the baying of the moon

and all cry for silence

Chapter 99

Evolving when it comes to relationships of any type; Reading my Horoscope and speaking online with a psychic; Some of the activities for the week; Getting sick (Thanks Tori-love you;) Letting Corey go to a concert alone; Hoping for success; My characters and their continual chatter; The arrival of the first issue of "We, James"-soon my children-soon-:); The wondrous art of Stephanie Villanueva on her Etsy shop "RockbellRevolution" which you can find at: https://www.etsy.com/shop/RockbellRevolution; You can also find Stephanie at: RockbellRevolution.com, https://www.facebook.com/RockbellRevolution,https://www.facebook.com/StephanieVBooks, and https://www.facebook.com/madmacha; "Notions of the Damned" with the awesome writer and friend Jimmy Reed; Reading from "Like the Universe Gasping for Air;" Submitting to the show; Getting ready for my 100th chapter; Love to you all!!!!

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Chapter 98: "Photography and other items."

Talking shop: writing and photography; Sharing my love of developing my own photographs and the smell of the chemicals-stop bath and such; Speaking about the word artist and showing humility towards your work; Hoping for a big time publisher for "We, James" and for it to become a franchise; (We are almost ready to submit the first issue for publication-everywhere;) The unique and interesting "Good witch" Rhonda at her Etsy shop "MOONSTAR7SPIRITS" which you can find at: https://www.etsy.com/shop/MOONSTAR7SPIRITS; The talented Monine Brocco on Etsy and her shop "moninesfaeries" (she makes wonderful art dolls) which you can find at: https://www.etsy.com/shop/moninesfaeries; Going into Chapter Two of "Channel 63" by awesome friend and writer Jimmy Reed in his segment "Notions of the Damned;" Reading from my work "Like the Universe Gasping for Air;" Submitting to my 100th chapter; Shock jocks and much love to you all......Thank you!!!! :)

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Chapter 97

Changes in life; Writing new poems (l'll post them on the blog tomorrow;) The fight against "Twilight;" I'm not an artist-but the fight to create something new and non-"Twilight" related; The amazing and sweet Alice Wreath on Etsy at her shop "WreathsChambers" which you can find at: https://www.etsy.com/shop/WreathsChambers; Awesome friend and writer Jimmy Reed on his segment "Notions of the Damned;" Reading from "Like the Universe Gasping for Air;" Being 40; 38 and a half pounds lost; Submitting for my 100th chapter; Lots of love to you all!!!!! :)...<3

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My photographs

40.

Corrupt
Floundered by regret
needless neglect
the pages pulling
pushing
an endless supply
repeat
REPEAT
until the words
are sated
soaking in brine
caramel coated
their spirit
lost to the wind
boiling acid
a thing of the
past
I don't want
to know you
anymore

Beg
How do
I tell myself
not to fly
the beads
of sweat
pass and still
I sit
waiting for
the fear to
rise again
through
the pain
Mattie
stares back
at me
I find comfort
in her eyes
begging for night
I sleep
resting only paused

Beer
Fees paid
slump over
over the counter
over the nothing
that made you drink
that night
neglecting
anything
that we had before
but the sour lips
of ragged kisses
burnt dreams
in a tiny box
filled with hopes
how often do you stop
and listen to yourself?
foolish and angry
the drunk of
the town

Leave
speak
symbols down
words closed
metaphors banished with
this isn't
the normal routine
close up show
close up shop
burn out the rot
how bitter
do you declare
I've sat
and held
your hand
in the fall
open field
of life
cut off
my thumbs
and abandon
me.

Fight
Spirit left
my soul
to rot
to never turn
another key
to mind mistakes
alone
and to rest my eyes
in the fallen army
but U do not
find peace
in any of this
I bend my head
in deliberation
and take in
the surroundings
there is nothing left
for me here
on this
my empty battlefield

Killer
The bear breaks
beats his breast
before the breaking burn
To watch him suffer
steals my soul
and places it into
a cage
that I can barely
escape from
the wait
is long
I dig my own hole
before the knife
comes down
bare boned
and sharp
I do not scream
I only look into
those eyes
to know
all.

Acceptance
On my love
bury me with you
take of out misfortune
and make a home
oh my love
let me love you
take you in my arms
with a gentle kiss
do not run towards
the same words
of violence
and despair
oh love
let me love you
I do not need
the love in return
just take care of yourself
and hold your head
high
in the pouring rain

Germany
I realize
how much
I am at fault
and I take
full responsibility
for my actions
I still think
about our
conversations
so long ago
liking you so
much
I was not
the person
that I am
today
I hope that one day
you can
forgive me
I think
of you often
these days
and wonder
what would
have happened
if I wasn't
hadn't been
so stupid
I am so sorry.

Meek
The power
of your hands
rolling over me
keeping your cool
and then releasing
all out of control

Forget
Please
there's
no other word
I roll it
around my tongue
and wait for it
to catch fire.

Off
Keep the lights
on low
don't let them know
that you
are home
what is home?
where is it?
how do you find it?
Searching my
whole life
forget the hours
I settle into my chair
and wait
for them/to come
and eat me
alive.

Miss
Speak
I want
the soft tone
of your voice
to wrap around me
like a blanket
the dew
falls heavy
in the backyard
but I ignore
the patter of
life outside
I want to
remember.

Born
Flash
before my eyes
the cylinder sparks
the wheels turn
I set up shop
hand-me-downs
cut unevenly
no one comes
inside
closing the doors
one winter
night alone
I fall to my
knees when I see
your face.

20 seconds
I worship
your lips
A small moan
from you
makes words
spring out of me
like I have
never said before
yet
you go away
pause
and wait
the silence sets
my hair aflame
with the dawning
of the new
morning

Beats
Fresh flush
and rye
over woods
less to qualify
the creatures squeeze
through holes small
flush out
all their blood
into a tiny ball
of clots
and clumps
swinging and swaying
over those torched
the horrors
mingled
as we rise
over their deaths
and beyond
where
a small mist
grows
just for us
with a blanket
of trees
and dark shadows
to guide
our way
I open the
window
the rain travels
inside
through the
curio closet
of treasures
the tiny clock
this broken spoon
and I stop.

After
All is still now
my beating heart
rests
securely in my chest
my ribs press tight
helping my heart whole
the lungs expand
and the smile
it lingers
lush-

Forgive
How do I remember?
Years of time
to be mended
I roll the cigarette
and search
for a light.

Quiver
Master
of all
passing fancy
to none
the sharp curves
form roads
waves over
the small
and delicate wrinkles
that we cannot see
I empty
my mouth
of the lonely words
still out
from fragile snow
and look out
into the restless day
bickering thoughts
of purity.

Crawl
Never
do you walk
on glass
sharp as blades
of ice
pulling over
the blank water
frozen down
fish in mid-flight
I saw you
a pair of winter
socks
black with
tan trim
escape through
the bedroom
winter
and kiss
the moon.

Coal
devil in hiding
you are
small
cloven
horns
the bustle
of my skirt
loosening
bending
to your will
I brush past
the newborn fruit
and pay ribbons
for a pear.

Closed
this heart
no longer
cries
the specks of
tall trees
do not blow
they
shift
and
swiftly
change places
in the autumn wind
but they
do not bound past
in high spirits
they only sit on
their shelf.

Tender
I'm afraid
afraid that
you'll do it
again
afraid
that if I
let me guard
down
you'll hurt
me again
It may
have been
A long time
for you
but it's
yesterday
for me.

Stutter
The silence
less approached
the words
less spoken
until we forgot
what to say
breaking our hearts
along the road
traveled rough
in the dirt
side by side
until left alone
to tremble
at the Earth
and the roars
she
provides.

Vows
I promise:
never to take you for granted-
to always give you affection-
to be interested in
your way/your life-
to be in love with you-
to dance barefoot
by your side
until the ice
eats at my feet
and the fog covers up
our steps
molded
in love
in the bright
blue
moon
that I put up
in the sky
just for you.

Turncoats
How often
red fur
brightens
my day?
the blonde fur
following after
or before
these simple things
Pumpkin spice tea
in a mug
full of morning
I empty
the smiles
from my pocket
and travel
down
that heavy road

False
Why haven't I seen you?
stopping at empty staircases
between and beneath
the occasional bus
picture ran
blue beams
of light
rising high
then dropping
over squares of land
made for the birds
out of seed and grain
the flapping
of their wings
climbing
into the sea
beyond the salt
nestled
into the deep.

The keeper
the baking
has stopped
no more smells
from the kitchen
no more bated
breath
the cake pans
sit
untouched-my human hands
wander over them
mysterious creatures
the likes of which
I'd never seen
dough formations gone
traveled back west
to farm country
one covered wagon
after
another.

Pure
Call down
peaceful field
blue
and
yellow
flowers
rot in the soil
the heavy breathing
of puppies
tired
from their
long day
there is
this sweet virtue
to a man
that's lost
everything.

Treat
dizzy
spin the bottle
truth or dare
quit while
you're ahead
small spiders surface
on the bottom
of the glass
they split
their lips open
to find warmth

Troll
please
don't leave
the bare
naked trees
beat down
the side
of the house
with their fists
like frost
no where
to go
but up
attic filled
records play
the dust
shatters off
and they
are alive.

Too soon
Beyond
the bitter
brightness blue
the nothingless
calls
upon the page
the letters
and words
of letters
crawl
copious
begging
for the
right
thanks
however
called
sight
down.

Speech
How
to talk
tenderly
read
the book
patience
noting time
as the
rage mounts
careful suspension
perfect
stop
comment
only listened
to when
desperation
called
sting.

Failed
Down
the
next
glass
all
those
things
large
and clunky
klunky (clunky)
spinning
round
dizzy
down
krick (kick)
(clos) cllose out (close)
holy
harbor

Quick
seven
or
eight
short
strings
stories
of
horror
shock
and
dismay
all
ends
here
quick
to
track
easy
to bait.

Sound
Make it
up
hills
of snow
pressure
pressure
bargain
debate
with
for change
endless.

Second
based upon the choice
nothing there nothing speaks wild
bow can this talk dead

Give away
Dance
bargain
plate
wash
for
none

Wing
Speak
joyful
the beating soul

Gypsy
Switch
the pale platinum end
begin
again

Low
Black
and
white
butterfly
beyond
the kitchen
window
refresh.

InsignifiCUNT

Strange men; Questions searching for truth; The Alcatraz story; Drinking wine and Jack; Surviving my mother's abortion; Masturbation; My hideous hip; The wonderment of a lack of censorship on all levels; Crushes and obsessions-Thank you all for listening; A special show...just for you to laugh to.....:)...:)

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Chapter 96: "I'm sorry"

Saying "I'm sorry" for past mistakes (If I ever wronged you...I am a better and different person now and I hope that you can forgive me;) Taking responsibility for my actions; 38 pounds lost; The shrinking and changing of my body; Episodes with a dear friend; Writing a ton of new work; Looking for publication for "Like the Universe Gasping for Air"-I have decided to read it on the air; Artists Huiyi and David on Etsy-you can find her amazing work (because she rocks-well, they both rock...:)}-but you can find her amazing work at: https://www.etsy.com/shop/huiyitan and you can also find her work at: www.facebook.com/BehindTheShowcase; Plus, you can find her artistic husband David's work at: https://www.etsy.com/shop/fatboyisland; They both rock and are amazing artists-Check them out!!!! (I love their work!!!!;) Starting a new story with awesome writer and friend Jimmy Reed and his segment "Notions of the Damned;" Beginning to read my novel of epilepsy and horror "Like the Universe Gasping for Air;" Submitting for my 100th chapter; A short poem from my grandmother and tons of love from me to you!!!! :)

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Chapter 95: "Is it wrong to be attracted to Louis CK?"

Sharing our fetishes and phobias; Weird week; The expansion of Issue Six for "We, James;" Feeling like Hitchcock; The audience being in control; A long short story by James "Jimmy" Reed in his segment "Notions of the Damned;" Reading the rest of my non-fiction story (which was published in 2012) "I am my father's daughter;" An interview with Maggie from her cute and cuddly Etsy shop "KnotAPaperdoll" which you can find at: https://www.etsy.com/shop/KnotAPaperdoll; (How I can mix horror and cute children's toys into one show is ironic in of itself;) Whips, S & M, Bondage, and everything not related to children's toys......and one thing that Tori mentions that will send all of my listeners running in the opposite direction....well....maybe not....hopefully not....love to you all....submit for my 100th chapter/show....I'd love to hear from you....Thanks so very much!!!!! :)...:)...<3

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Chapter 94: "Recording on a Tuesday"

Playing with my medicine; Being bisexual; Coming out to my father; Burlesque shows; Taking away the alcohol; Still being afraid, after all these years; Taking a break from "We, James"-but still extensively working on the outline for issue six-so, I am probably not taking a break...lol...;
Debra Williamson and her lovely and delightful Etsy shop "Joshua By Oak" which you can find at: https://www.etsy.com/shop/JoshuaByOak -her shop is adorable; Multiple writings from good friend and writer Jimmy Reed in his segment "Notions of the Damned;" Reading from my piece, "I am my father's daughter" which I will continue on Thursday; Submitting for chapter 100 and to let me know what you think of the show; Lots and tons of love to each and everyone of you....Thanks so very very much!!!! Tune in next time, when we'll be talking about fetishes and phobias.....:)

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Chapter 93: "Halloween": Laurie Strode: [crying] "Was that the boogeyman?" Dr. Samuel Loomis: "As a matter of fact... I do believe it was."

Halloween chapter; Amityville; Favorite horror movie characters (some real life serial killers-accept for Lizzie Borden-she's innocent); Having a sock on my leg painted; Gothic vampire; Off of the topic of Halloween: Changing my relationship with food; Amazing and Legendary Etsy artist Annie Saunders ("i came to your planet to research the various acidity levels of your soil. i stayed for the cheeseburgers.") and her shop "leagueofshadows" (which if you are sensing a Batman reference, then you would be right)-You can find her wonderful and amazing work at: leagueofshadows.etsy.com, league-ofshadows.tumblr.com, facebook.com/shopleagueofshadows, and "You can follow either the tumblr or facebook for news about any upcoming sales. {She's}@anniemated on twitter, instagram and vine; Also the next chapter of the series "A Thousand Years of Darkness" from super star writer and great friend Jimmy Reed; The end of "Asylum;" 37 pounds lost; Recording special show tomorrow with sometime co-hosts Tori and Katie; Submitting for my 100th chapter and tons and tons of hell bound love to you all!!!!!! Plus...listen for the coupon code in this chapter....:)...:)...<3

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Road Kill Asylum

Stay low
Stumble up utopia
tell the truth
words to the gods
say the impossible
the strange
bitter sense
of honey.
I wipe my brow
and head
into morning.

Dreamed
small gloves
long hair
caught in ribbons
the sinister smirk
of cruel brutality
the carpet
Keeps slick
warm blood
fingers blue

Follow
However lost
we still
exist
molten lava
the jewels
of success
the wants
and needs
deprived
how hopeless
the empty nights
clicking from
the blue screen
pulling short arms
straight
I pull the dress
over my head
and back away
from the bed

Little lies
Clicking centipede
How often
the time
ways us down
seek
what needs to be shown
offer
what needs to be given
the comfort guides us
soft and sweet
hovering against time
I open
the cement box
and hoist open
black wings

Science
More over
the loud voices
surface wildly
speck warm
the flicks and flecks
of gold sunrise
over water
pushing through
endless drifts
the purpose
written and recorded.

Damage
Sorrow reflections
the mad
rise from
the Earth
pen to paper
ink to thumb
keep yelling
finger in my face
the pounding
of your veins
i shrink away
the fear glows
as the door
locks
from far -------away

Teach
Cast
call
circle
not the fish
pull up
the reeds
on open flame
white lace
pulled back
pulled up
pull down
guarded

Chapter 92: "The lost gloves"

Looking for Fall; "Drugstore Cowboy;" 35 pounds lost; Stopping the cutting; Therapy and the wonderful world of astonishing my awesome therapist; The surprise of a "brilliant mind;" Fighting against a "woman's world;" Tasks achieved to fight off "Suicidal Tendencies;" Writing and working on issue five of "We, James"-but life keeps getting in the way; Issue one of "We, James" almost ready for submission <3; Adding a new friend (soon) to the mix: Welcome "DesignByAnyOtherName" at: https://www.etsy.com/shop/DesignByAnyOtherName; Looking for submissions for my 100th chapter and my Halloween show; Doing a special show this weekend featuring my special co-hosts Tori and Katie; The wonderful and astounding genius artist Jamison Jontry (one of her pieces-a necklace entitled "Haunted" I never take off)-here are pictures of some of her pieces as well to entice you-www.etsy.com/listing/104932818/anatomical-heart-card-case-id-case?ref=sh..., www.etsy.com/listing/96035363/the-kraken-in-silver-octopus-necklace?ref=..., www.etsy.com/listing/92373586/beer-hops-cufflinks-in-brass-antique?ref=s...; -Plus, if you head over to her Etsy shop "The Lysine Contingency" for
Funny, Bizarre, Fun, and Beautiful Jewelry" and mention that you heard about this awesome shop....our dear friend will include something special in your order-("Mention this podcast at checkout and I'll throw in a special little something just for you in your order")-https://www.etsy.com/shop/TheLysineContingency; Plus, check out the inspiration for her shops name at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4kBRC2co7Y and check out www.etsy.com/shop/unusualcards and photographer Jackie Jeffries; Amazing writer Jimmy Reed and a rewrite of a section of chapter three of "A Thousand Years of Darkness;" Reading from "Asylum" -we are almost finished folks or as Stephen King says "constant readers" (or in my case constant listeners; Plus the amazing Juels Larson at her Yoga DVD entitled "Ageless Movement & Breath From Your Chair" which can be purchased by clicking on: http://vayuproductions.com/product/ageless-movement-breath-from-your-chair/; Much love to you all!!!! :)...:)...<3

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"You're Turning into A Zombie!!!!"

Horror movies; Sexual Activity: Question and Answer; Horror novels; Stanley Kubrick vs. Stephen King (it's my show, so Stephen King wins of course ;) Serial killers; Embarrassing stories; Whiskey and coke; Laughter abounds; The question of virginity; "School girl" crushes; "The Poughkeepsie Tapes" and much much more... Love to you all....:)...:)!!!! Thank you so very very very very much for listening.....:)..:)...<3

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Chapter 91

Vague notions of depression; The term "compromise;" Co-hosts from time to time; Tori and Katie; Cutting this week (I am unfortunately human;) Finishing "Doctor Sleep;" Working on "We, James" issue five; Post trauma stress disorder and laughter; Impulsive yawning; Inspiring Etsy artist Rachael Gracie Carver and her Etsy shop "BinkyRooCrafts" which you can find at:www.facebook.com/BinkyRooDesigns and at https://www.etsy.com/shop/BinkyRooCrafts-listen to the coupon code in this chapter for her Etsy shop (also check out Ella Goodwin at "ShopMissElla" on Etsy at https://www.etsy.com/shop/ShopMissElla); The continuation of "A Thousand Years of Darkness: Ben" from awesome writer and friend Jimmy Reed; Reading from "Asylum" (we are almost finished folks);Submitting for my 100th chapter and my Halloween chapter; Much love to everyone....and now, off to sleep!!!!! :)

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